Yeah.. I have none..
You know why? the higher our expectation, the more we'll get hurt. MEH!
Don't get me wrong, I expect a lot from myself. But that's just to me-for me.. I don't expect, at least consciously expect something from other people. Because people are people, we all think differently. What we have in mind as "the least I can do" for someone may not be what others have in mind.
Take this recent thing that happened for example.
We used to have lots of "event" at this someone's place and well I'm not trying to claim or anything but I'm pretty sure I was the closest among the rest to this person. She said this a lot when she has an "event".. 'Don't tell everybody, I don't want too many people maybe just you and A and B.' And I would asked her 'Can I at least invite C n D?'
I did that every time, why? maybe it is for my own selfish reason, because I want C n D to be there w/ me so we can have fun together, who knows. I just want them there, period.
Now then, something happened I guess.. I'm not close w/ A anymore and I don't know what she is telling the host, I'll give her the benefit of a doubt that she didn't say anything bad about me. But who knows, who cares, whatever.
But there was an event recently and guess what, I wasn't invited! N you know what, I could careless about that. I don't care if I'm not invited, aight fine maybe I was a little hurt that the host didn't invite me but invited A's friend that's not even close at all. But hey, maybe A asked the host if her friend could come. Who knows. I'm not gonna make assumption.
I guess what hurt me the most was the fact that my friend went around the bush instead of telling me straight up. That hurts. I guess I did have expectation from this friend that she would at least be honest w/ me or something. I don't know, maybe we think differently but I would like to find out from the friend that I trust, no matter how hurtful it would be, instead of to find out later on. It hurts twice as much.
Or maybe I unconsciously expect them to do what I did, to ask the host if it's ok to ask me to go? I don't know. I couldn't really blame anybody though, because beside the host that kept saying 'why do you want them to come all the time, they are probably busy', nobody knows that I did that. And no, when I did that I don't expect anything in return, I just want them there w/ me, because I love them and I love having them around.
I guess I did unconsciously had expectation. But look at that, it does nothing but harm. I just got hurt, again. LOL! I guess I never really learned my lesson. Ah well. Lesson learned, maybe?? LOL!
N I'm pretty sure people prolly have their disappointed moments w/ me too, because they expect more from me. So there you go. I know I'm not "perfect", so I know I couldn't really be upset either. Hey, 'poker face' come back to me!!! XP
Ah well..What's done is done. We'll all move on eventually, it'll all be fine eventually. It's all good. =)
Xo for now,
-Na-
Don't get me wrong, I expect a lot from myself. But that's just to me-for me.. I don't expect, at least consciously expect something from other people. Because people are people, we all think differently. What we have in mind as "the least I can do" for someone may not be what others have in mind.
Take this recent thing that happened for example.
We used to have lots of "event" at this someone's place and well I'm not trying to claim or anything but I'm pretty sure I was the closest among the rest to this person. She said this a lot when she has an "event".. 'Don't tell everybody, I don't want too many people maybe just you and A and B.' And I would asked her 'Can I at least invite C n D?'
I did that every time, why? maybe it is for my own selfish reason, because I want C n D to be there w/ me so we can have fun together, who knows. I just want them there, period.
Now then, something happened I guess.. I'm not close w/ A anymore and I don't know what she is telling the host, I'll give her the benefit of a doubt that she didn't say anything bad about me. But who knows, who cares, whatever.
But there was an event recently and guess what, I wasn't invited! N you know what, I could careless about that. I don't care if I'm not invited, aight fine maybe I was a little hurt that the host didn't invite me but invited A's friend that's not even close at all. But hey, maybe A asked the host if her friend could come. Who knows. I'm not gonna make assumption.
I guess what hurt me the most was the fact that my friend went around the bush instead of telling me straight up. That hurts. I guess I did have expectation from this friend that she would at least be honest w/ me or something. I don't know, maybe we think differently but I would like to find out from the friend that I trust, no matter how hurtful it would be, instead of to find out later on. It hurts twice as much.
Or maybe I unconsciously expect them to do what I did, to ask the host if it's ok to ask me to go? I don't know. I couldn't really blame anybody though, because beside the host that kept saying 'why do you want them to come all the time, they are probably busy', nobody knows that I did that. And no, when I did that I don't expect anything in return, I just want them there w/ me, because I love them and I love having them around.
I guess I did unconsciously had expectation. But look at that, it does nothing but harm. I just got hurt, again. LOL! I guess I never really learned my lesson. Ah well. Lesson learned, maybe?? LOL!
N I'm pretty sure people prolly have their disappointed moments w/ me too, because they expect more from me. So there you go. I know I'm not "perfect", so I know I couldn't really be upset either. Hey, 'poker face' come back to me!!! XP
Ah well..What's done is done. We'll all move on eventually, it'll all be fine eventually. It's all good. =)
Xo for now,
-Na-
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